Governor Rick Perry’s “The Response” has become the Lollapalooza of right wing evangelicals, attracting such alternative acts as the ever-homophobic American Family Association; the Illuminati-inspired New Apostolic Reformation; Christian Zionist and prosperity preacher, John Hagee; and IHOP, home of the Rooty Tooty Fresh N’ Fruity End-Times prophecies.
The venue itself, Houston’s Reliant Stadium, smacks of the warning Jesus gave to self-righteous Pharisees about praying for public attention. “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.” (Matthew 6: 5)
Rick Perry has publicly stated the day of prayer and fasting is for our nation to seek God’s guidance and wisdom in addressing our many challenges. He has also said that it’s not just about the country’s problems; it’s about him as well, “God helping me, guiding me, giving me direction.”
Sure, to the cynical eye, Rick Perry could be attempting to pander to the religious right for a potential Presidential run. However, I do not presume to judge Rick’s heart. Maybe he is sincere about seeking God’s mercy and guidance. If so, what if God looks down through the retractable roof, past the Jumbotron, and speaks directly to Rick Perry? I can only imagine…
“What’s going on down here Rick?”
“You showed up! I can’t believe it,” Rick gushes. “It’s called The Response – I organized the whole thing for you. It’s about you forgiving us for
our sins – and telling us what to do to fix our mess.”
“Do you really want to be forgiven for your sins?”
“Oh yes! In fact, I already have a list prepared.” Reaching into his suit coat, Rick takes out a sheet of paper with typed talking points. “Please forgive us for allowing immorality to run rampant – and the enormous Federal deficit – and Obama-care – ”
“Okay, let me stop you right there,” God says as He takes a scroll from his robe. “I actually have a list I’ve been working on myself.” Not waiting on Rick to respond, He continues, “I’ve had a few complaints up here from people who were executed while you were governor.”
“And these people are in heaven?” Rick clarifies.
“Yes, it turns out they were innocent of their crimes and, as you can imagine, they’re pretty upset about not getting an appeal.”
“Huh,” Rick says, scratching his head, second knuckle deep into his hair.
“This might come as a shock to you, but I’m not a big fan of the death penalty,” God continues. “You might remember my son was executed…? Look, I know I’m not going to stop you from going all Old Testament, but could you at least refrain from executing them if there’s evidence they didn’t do it? You guys figured out DNA testing… Don’t be afraid to use it.”
God looks down at his scroll. “I have to ask… What’s the fascination with the guns?”
Rick mumbles something about “freedom and liberty.”
“What about this ‘bring your gun to work’ policy you just passed.… Did you really think that one through?”
“I think you’re referring to the ‘Texas Worker’s Right to Self-Defense,” Rick says. “The gun has to stay in a locked car.”
“So now if a troubled soul is having a bad day or gets fired, all he has to do is go out to his car to start a shooting spree?”
“Other employees will be able to get their own guns out of their cars to protect themselves,” Rick offers helpfully.
“I’m going to have to open up another wing up here just to handle the overflow from Texas.”
“What about all the work I’ve done for ‘unborn children?’” Rick cries.
“Yes,” God sighs. “I’m well aware of that. I saw where you signed emergency legislation to force women to see sonograms of their fetuses before having an abortion.”
“I thought you’d like that,” Rick says.
“You’ve got a young woman who is scared and doesn’t feel like she can take care of child – and now, you’re trying to pile more guilt and shame on her,” God says. “There’s already been enough of that in My Name.”
“But I’ve saved a lot of babies.”
“How about you let me work that out with the mother,” God says patiently. “And Rick, for the record, a frozen embryo is not a baby.” Glancing down the list, He adds, “And while you’re at it, why don’t you let me work things out with my children that are attracted to the same sex? It really doesn’t need to concern you.”
“But in the Bible – you say – ”
“Go back and read the Bible,” God interjects firmly. “Where does it say Rick Perry or the government needs to be involved in people’s private lives?”
Rick is momentarily quiet.
“The Bible does say to love your neighbor as yourself. That includes your neighbors to the South,” God says. “My Son healed the sick and stood up for the weak. He talked a lot about taking care of the poor, loving your enemies, not judging other, and showing compassion and mercy to all people. Why don’t you work on those? When you get those down, you can start telling people how to live their lives.”
“Yeah, okay,” Rick answers meekly. “Anything else?”
“And stop talking about seceding from the union,” God says. “You’re just embarrassing yourself.”
Rick nods, head down, humbled.
“Just remember, I love you Rick,” God says. “Not any more than anyone else, but I love you. Now go and do likewise.”
What’s your response to The Response? Feel free to leave your comments below…
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Tags: Christ and Rick Perry, God and Rick Perry, God's Repsonse, Governor Perry, Matthew 6:5, Rick Perry, The Response
Ahhh, that is terrific. I’m going to forward this to all my old friends and family members – especially those who live in Oklahoma and Texas and who forward me weekly prayers and emails telling me about the “sins committed by the Left”. The emails then go on to tell me that I’m headed for a bad time in the after-life if I continue to vote for or support any Liberal, progressive causes … I’m sure you’ve seen many of those yourself.
The way you have handled these issues is dignified and – trying to look at it through the eyes of my friends and relatives – might make at least a few of them think. You very gently but clearly remind people that there’s a different way of looking at things – I think the way God, Jesus and the Bible intended that we look at things. Thank you for calling this to my attention.
Sharon
Thanks Sharon Living in a red state, I feel your pain. There are a lot of judgmental, legalistic voices out there who are quick to condemn anyone who doesn’t agree with their point-of-view. That seems to me to be very different than the gospel Jesus presented.
Well done! He will be so screwed when he meets his maker.
I could envision such a conversation going down like that! : )
I esp. enjoyed the homage to the song “I can only imagine…”
ironic and perfect.
Very good. I’m going to forward it to some folks who will enjoy it.
What is a False Prophets? A Person who uses Religion and God to go places professionally. He is a Crackpot Governor who believes he is a Disciple of Jesus himself. Can I throw-up now!
I have this scripture i found .. this will explain Rick Perry’s actions to plan this prayer event , this one of them I found .. Jeremiah 18:8
New International Version (NIV)
8 and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned.
there are many more on this subject ..I know Rick Perry made mistakes we all do . we have errors we can find fault with anyone because we have flaws but God corrects us it called Repentance from your sins … if you think you are perfect as God your not we all fail sometimes ..even if you have degree or doctor or Masters degree .thank you for your time
I think it’s great to ask for repentance. I just question what he’s asking repentance for…I don’t hear Gov. Perry asking for forgiveness for himself or any of his own policies. It seems to be directed at others who he feels need to be forgiven, which is not real repentance at all. Maybe I’m wrong about his intentions – and I’m sorry if I am.
Now here is the problem…who gets to define “evil”. Your evil and my evil are not going to be the same…even Christians cannot decide what evil is. You pick and choose what you want to use from the bible, especially if it oppresses others. The Christian right has become nothing short of shameful. God…please protect me from your followers.
you cannot listen to rick perry speak and still believe in intelligent design..
This is great. The Dallas Area Christian Progressive Alliance can still use a few more signatures on its “Response to the Response”: On August 6, repentance means “go a new way.” Go to http://DallasChristians.org to see the statement and the petition link. Thanks.
Great post! Thank goodness for Twitter, and bloggers like Hometownprophet!
Think God would say: “And wipe that silly smirk off your face… Belongs to my son, George, the previous President.
Well done, hometownprophet. Well done indeed. Though I suspect that the folks who put up those billboards signed “-God” will condemn you for attempting to speak in His name.
Since you invited me to read your post, here’s one of mine in return. The Parable of the Bueno Latino (be warned, there’s some language).
So I guess it’s ok to claim to know the mind and will of God, as long as you’re a democrat or a faux-gressive blogger. I can only imagine the false outrage if the content had been flipped against, for example, President Obama.
I can’t see Obama holding a huge religious rally for political gain. As I previously stated, I don’t know Rick Perry’s heart, but what he’s doing has the appearance of what Jesus warns about in Matthew 6. Mixing religion and politics is dangerous ground that can so easily be abused. It aslo seems to be something Jesus warns about in Matthew 22: 15-22 (render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s – and God what is God’s).
When people make a big show out of using their religion to do non-Jesusy things, then they get to get called on it no matter who does the calling. The Radical Right think they corner the market on Christianity because of two specific issues that Jesus never even covered (gay rights/abortion), while the things he did preach about, like mercy, grace, forgiveness and love, all get ignored. Instead they fight for capital punishment (John 8), fight against taxes (Mark 12), fight to protect personal wealth (Matthew 6), and fight socialist programs like health care, welfare and protecting the elderly and disabled (Matthew 25). Truth be told if we really wanted to run the country the way Jesus felt we needed to, it wouldn’t resemble AT ALL the country proposed by the likes of Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, or Rick Perry, whose own actions demand their words of faith be challenged (Matthew 7:15-20) . Maybe, just maybe, if anyone wants to know how Jesus feels about things like “Obamacare” they should read the Bible instead of stand on it.
Rick may be our next president…and what could go wrong with a good old boy from Texas being president of the US?